IVA - Individual Vehicle Assessment

The test that sorts the men from the boys...... Or the test that allows your creation to kill but not to scratch. Yep the pen pushers have been allowed to invent a road test. That said a large part of the test is common sense stuff and designed to produce a safe vehicle for the road. However there are some extremely dumb parts to the test that had to have been invented by either those that want to make money or those that sat though most of the committee meetings saying nothing but taking the expenses. Then all of a sudden they realise they should make some sort input to justify the vast expenses bill and so they drive forward some crazy HSE initiative.  

Meanwhile it’s time to read the 286 page IVA M1 guide and start covering, adjusting and fettling things to keep the inspectors happy.

So far the main idea behind the IVA seems logical and full of common sense. But then there is the odd bit which is just bizarre. A car that weights in at over 650Kg and capable of over 130MHP can hit people and kill them in around 8 milliseconds. But according to the IVA manual as you break every bone in this hapless persons body you are not allowed to scratch their flesh. So a radius of 19mm is required on all nuts, bolts, lights, dash boards, mirrors  and any other protrusion. Even if this item slaughters on impact. I guess this makes the morticians job easier.

Other issues seem to be more about design confusion rather than a rule book, but I guess that’s probably due to the bureaucrats writing the rules rather than any serious actual design concerns. No one can really identify where the cockpit starts and ends on an open top car. No one can work out when a bit of Perspex becomes a windscreen and therefore needs wiper blades. And so the list goes on.

Then there is the “Oh we got that wrong. Lets add verbal garnish so it can mean anything” sections. Take the immobilise that was required to have Thatcham certification. Then they realised a hidden switch was more effective than a well know, especially by all thieves, approved type. So they scrap that rule by leave in the bits about alarms and panic devices. So you can immobilise your car but not tell anyone else the fact your motor is about to be stolen. Neat? NOT!

Leaving all this aside we simply disconnect the siren, cover the nuts and bolts, assume the whole car is a cockpit and make brake bias set ups unchangeable. Until after the test!!!!

How dumb is all that?    

As for this beast, well headlight alignment first, sensible not to blind drivers coming the other way. Steering alignment was next to get good self centring. Brake bias set up, fronts must lock before the rear. Good now all this is great for a road test and a road car but will all change for the track. But it all has to be fixed for the IVA exam.

The covered seat belt mountings (so they don’t scratch as they save your life) have already been completed so they have a neat radius.

VIN plate, Chassis No. stamping, Engine No. are all now in place and documented on the right hand side (drivers side).

Meaning the IVA rule book is just plain wrong because no matter how PERMANENTLY FIXED it has to be for the test, it will certainly not be after the first visit to the track. Would make more sense to have a technical manual for each so that they can be adjusted and readjusted as required. No technical manual / technical understanding then no pass i.e. dunces need not apply.

There is a school of thought that says the buyers of these cars may not understand and may tweak things and crash. But don’t these boy racers just modify their factory standard GTi 205 R5 Sri thingy anyway? So what ever car they buy they will do the same.

Brake Bias Set Up.

To check out the headlight alignment and brake balance a trip to the local MOT station has been booked. The headlights were high so have been lowered and the nearside front brake performance was lower than the right, nothing that would fail but something I was not happy about. I want the braking to be the best it can be! So back into the workshop for some more work (oh and some accident damage as the car gets lowered onto an errant axle stand). Lots of re-plumbing later it’s time to retest the brakes. Back to the MOT station then.

Well not quite. The turbo pipes are going to be upgraded from rather flexible silicon lined pipes to full 3mm walled silicon pipes. This will help with turbo performance, lag times and over all reliability. Bleeding the front brakes is starting to cause a small issue with the nipple. So an E-Bay search and purchase of a ¼ AF ring spanner was required. Some Royal Mail waiting time now....

Meanwhile a solar panel charger has been purchased. The car will spend a large amount of time going no where but these modern motors still want lots of live circuits. To enable start on demand a constant trickle charge from a solar panel will be used. As I’m not keen on raising and lowering the bonnet after each run I’ve fitted a water proof socket under the side pod (out of site) a plug with LED indicator has been fitted to the solar panel leads so its a snap to set the car up for a dormant period.

After a final trip to the MOT station the brakes are now nicely balanced and things are starting to look good. The seats have been removed for final tightening on the runners now that the seatbelt covers are fitted and IVA proof. Also large mud washers fitted on the underside of the car spreading the load, in line with some helpful suggestions on the Locostbuilders forum (the most helpful chaps you could ever meet).

As a confidence boost the grass around the house was nice and wet today but the sun was shinning so a bit of grass tracking time was just inevitable. With a couple of spotters on hand and the suspension softened as far as it would go the lawn and orchard got a serious shredding. And after 30 mins the results were in, no matter what we did the fronts always locked before the rears and only 1 rattle and to bangs were discovered from the bodywork. Only 1 bang still to identify by close of play. Some place around the rear wing bangs over rabbit holes. Is this an issue we ask ourselves?

 

The Day The Earth Stood Still (and then circled around a bit).

• Date Line     15 December 2011
• Location       Wrabness
• Destination   Norwich
• Mission         VOSA IVA

The day had come. The man from VOSA stood at the end of the inspection hall. His fingers stretching and clenching, itching to take hold of his sphere of doom. Again and again he tested his speed. Drawing his metal knee cap with amazing speed and dexterity from its holster on the wall to the imaginary object in the centre of the desolate remote shed. Just off the Norwich ring road near Comet!  

But first the beast had to be woken from it’s restful slumber and dragged out into the frozen December darkness. Stirring the monster at 5am was not going to be easy so the decision was taken to tease the animal onto the car tailor the day before. Snarling spitting and only fitting with the introduction on 4” wood running planks, the creature was finally enticed on to the transporter. Damn ground clearance and high sided car trailers make this operation a absolute pain! The plan for the return trip was to load forward first with extra long ramp planks to prevent grounding.  

With the weather forecasting rain, wind and sleet (or snow) in the north there was an immediate problem. Would the beast accept these conditions without protest. Why antagonise? Strap the beast down and then cover it with a nice snug car cover to keep it warm yet still. Before letting the creature sleep for the night it was fed well with it’s favourite tipple, petroleum spiritus. As require it was fed to bursting point for the fully laidened weight test. Now rest by beauty, rest.

Bleep bleep..... 4am Beep bleep bleep.

By 5am we hit the road. No rain yet. No wind yet. It all bodes well. Errrm no, half way down the the A140 the car cover cries fowl and quickly departs company with most of the car. The tails and tatters that remain immediately grab the nearside wing mirror and and rip it from it’s moorings. 17 pieces later, the wing mirror ends it run for freedom under the giant wheels of a Turnners Logistics truck. On inspection the damage is minimal to the bodywork but a FAIL is now guaranteed. On closer inspection it is found that the beasts feeding tube has been left open. Petrol has sprayed liberally over the rear of the car and down into every crack and crevice it can find. A wipe down with a damp cloth is all that can be accomplished here, but what a mess. It is always the same, everyone you speak to says it. The last minute dash to prep the car the night before never fails to create a last minute problem.

Actually the man from VOSA just said “Proved the filler cap tether works” and that was it. By this time the nasty niff of petrol had subsided. Could have been due to the predicted rain hammering it down from the moment the beast arrived at the firmly locked VOSA gates. Unloading was a drab affair. As dawn broke the gates of Colditz swung silently open......

The test itself was actually amazing and I found myself enjoying the whole event. A VERY knowledgeable examiner was extremely helpful and a great guy to meet and chat to. The beast behaved impeccably and never once tried to bite the hand of the inspector. Everything went far better than great. But not perfect?

The results can be found here

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